In many cases, first impressions shape the opinions and decisions that follow. They form the basis for whether someone chooses to engage, hire, recommend, or ignore you. That’s reality, even if it feels unfair.
Experts tell us we size people up in about 30 seconds to two minutes. A first impression is the instant we decide whether someone is worth our attention and that decision is filtered through our own values and assumptions. I’ll be honest: I notice people who look put together; shoes, hair, a tidy outfit. That doesn’t mean expensive clothes. Shoe polish, a neat jacket, or a pressed shirt can make a big difference.
If you make zero effort with your presentation, you may simply never get the chance for someone to look below the cover. So, before you shrug off appearances as superficial, know this: small, inexpensive changes often unlock opportunities.
First impressions matter. Use them to your advantage, but don’t let them lock you into a judgment. Make a good first impression, verify it, and then let curiosity and follow-up reveal the real person.
First Impressions Are a Starting Point
Alfred Adler reminds us that our snap judgments often tell us more about our own expectations than about the other person. They’re useful clues, not facts. Aristotle would say character reveals itself over time; Kant warns that judging by appearances drives bias; Nietzsche points out that what we notice in others says as much about our values as it does about them.
The practical takeaway: treat first impressions as data points, not verdicts. Stay curious. Update your view as you gather more evidence. That’s how leaders make smarter decisions and build stronger relationships.
10 Practical Steps to Make Better First Impressions
(and avoid bad ones)
1. Put your best self forward
Small, inexpensive fixes matter: pressed clothes, clean shoes, a lint roller, neat hair. These are not about status, they’re about showing you care enough to be presentable.
2. Own your values and be aware of your biases
You don’t have to apologize for what you care about. But recognize when your values are driving a snap judgment, and give people the chance to show more.
3. Slow down your judgment
When you notice a strong first impression, label it silently: “That’s my first impression.” Then pause. Ask yourself: What exactly triggered that reaction? What would change my mind?
4. Validate the impression with two or three open questions
Don’t stop at your gut. Ask open-ended questions that require more than yes/no answers. Example starters:
- “What project are you most excited about right now?”
- “How did you decide to get into this field?”
- “What’s been the biggest challenge for you lately?”
5. Use manners intentionally
A firm handshake (when appropriate), eye contact, using someone’s name and a short thank-you make people feel seen. Manners are not stuffy, they’re relational currency.
6. Mind your body language and voice
Posture, a genuine smile, a calm tone, and measured pacing all help you appear confident and engaged.
7. Be punctual and prepared
Arrive on time, have notes or a simple agenda, and make sure your phone is on silent. Preparation signals respect.
8. Don’t forget the digital first impression
Your online presence (LinkedIn photo, headline, email signature, voicemail greeting) often precedes you. Keep them current and professional.
9. Follow up quickly
A short follow-up message after a meeting and even “Great to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation about X” cements a strong first impression.
10. For younger people: teach the why, not shame
Explain that presentation opens doors; it’s pragmatic, not superficial. Small investments (polish, fit, posture) can have outsized returns.
Leading with Confidence in Chaos
First impressions are powerful and are formed quickly, usually within 30 seconds to two minutes. They influence whether people decide to engage with us, but they’re not the whole story. Be intentional about how you present yourself, but don’t treat your first impression as final. Test it, ask better questions, and update your view as you learn more.
Karen
P.S. Share this with someone you care about. It might help them do a better job of creating good first impressions.
